Soldier On
by J. Kylie
Summary: "Out of every 100 men, ten shouldn't even be there, Eighty are just targets, Nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, One is a warrior, And he will bring the others back." - Heraclitus. Tag to Season 3, Episode 20 (The Promise) Steve/Freddie brother hood and a little of Steve/Catherine.


**Hawaii 5-0**

**05 August 2014**

**Coming Home**

**Author's Note:**

Just a little one-shot inspired by the recent events in my life, and how grateful I am to be given this opportunity to serve my country. Soft sides of Catherine and Steve, tag to 3.20 – I wrote it to as if Steve gave a speech at Freddie's funeral. You should all listen to Honor by Hans Zimmer (Strings and Oboe version) while reading, I believe it'll add more effect. I was just driving home from work and suddenly this popped into my head.

**Disclaimer:**

All rights reserved for CBS. Speeches are taken directly from_ Lone Survivor_ and the _Act of Valor._

_So you can doubt  
And you can hate  
But I know  
No matter what it takes  
I'm coming home_

If there are things that I could have done differently in my life, it would have been to bring Freddie home..._alive._ There are many things that I regret in my life, and this is the one that bites me all the time I think back to that day. If Catherine hadn't been there on that plane ride home, I don't know what I would have done with myself. And here I am, sitting on my bed, thinking back to that day Catherine and I brought Freddie's body home.

_North Korea Demilitarized Zone – 2012_

_We were walking along the plains of the DMZ, Catherine beside me, and our weapons intact. It took a lot just to put this mission through the go-signal. It took months, no years, that papers had to be brought up and down the chain of command, and even several phone calls to the Pentagon. Not many people realize what it means to the family of the fallen soldier that their son or daughter's body was finally found. Their child was coming home after this day, they would finally receive the closure that they deserved two years ago._

"_Catherine, you're doing okay, right?" I asked. We were just recently ambushed by the militants of North Korea. We weren't hit too bad, but Catherine is always top priority._

"_Steve, I'm fine. We can keep going, I can handle this." I walked over to her to check for myself, nothing but loose cuts and small abrasions. I nodded and it wasn't just too bad at continued to roam the plains, until my mind unfolded memories of Freddie._

I remember the day we were ready to pull through on the mission, that was two years ago. We were on the flight deck and preparing our gear for the HALO jump. Freddie reminded me of a certain woman who was deployed and currently AOL, well atleast to me. I haven't had contact with her just yet.

_"So, how are you and Lieutenant Rollins?" He always seemed to call Catherine by her full and official rank in the Navy, nevertheless, Freddie always joked about it to me. I chuckled and answered him._

_"We're doing great." I replied back to him. That was the truth, Cath and I have been sailing smooth waters for a while now._

_"Don't mess it up, smoothdog." I chuckled at the childish nickname the team gave me after BUD/s and assigned our first platoon._

_"Roger that." I said._

_"So, me and Kelly got hitched last weekend." Freddie said proudly._

_"Son of a bitch, are you kidding me? Weren't you guys just fighting?" I asked jokingly._

_"Yeah, well, I love her. Here look at the tattoo." He pulled up his sleeve and showed me a heart tattoo with 'Kelly' written across it, now was the time to joke with him._

_"Nice going you idiot. Kelly has two L's." I teased him. He took a double take and was apalled when he knew it was a joke._

_"Aw man..." He complained._

_"Well, congratulations, bubba." I said._

_There was also that one time back in Coronado where we were fooling in the mess hall and the dumb idiot spilled orange juice over me. That was almost seven years ago._

_"Hey LT, so how's your girl?" The infamous LTJG Mack Migradey, a fool, his foolishness level is almost to Freddie's._

_"She's almost done with A-School." I said. Catherine was in Rhode Island finishing up with her Intelligence training._

_"Niiiiice, you almost got yourself an officer. Make sure to tap that nicely." Okay, Mack sometimes takes it a little bit too far. Freddie gave him a look to knock it off._

_"What? I was just joking with him. We all know how dangerous McGarrett could be." I heard him murmur to Freddie._

_"Geeze, you guys can't take a joke? I'm going to grab some orange juice. Get some calcium and vitamin D into my body." Typical words of Jay-Gee Migradey. Freddie also stood up with him and grabbed another cup of milk from the line. The two came back, but their drinks were switched for some odd reason. Freddie accidentally bumped into a table and spilled the OJ all over my head._

_"Really! Come on Hart! I just took a shower too!" I teased him. To be honest, I didn't care, but he was still an Ensign, always loved teasing the baby of the team._

_"Okay! Sorry, go clean up! It was Mack's fault anyways, he's so clumsy." I started to walk to grab some napkins when I heard the two kids fighting and I just shook my head._

_"Oh, you really gotta put the blame on me?" Mack argued._

_"Mm, uh yeah, you are pretty clumsy you know." Freddie replied. I swear, these two were like some old married couple when they were put together._

_Good old memories with Freddie will always be the best. There's so much more, but it just made it harder to focus on the mission. All I know that I have to keep going. He would want that for all of us._

_We kept going for another few hours to find the place, the people at this place would know where his body was. We even encountered a friendly fire with the North Koreans, no causalities for us, but many for them. The man had taken us to Freddie's body, and there it was... decomposed obviously. We retrieved the body, we accomplished the mission. But, to me, how come he didn't make it home in the first place? There was a cause and a mission to carry out for everyone in the military to uphold, and that was have honor, have courage, and protect the country we love. I wish I could have done more to bring Freddie home, alive and safe. He had a family back home, he had a wife, a loving daughter, and sadly his daughter will never see her father again. We arrived in Hawaii by the break of dawn, Catherine and I walked down the plane to the spot where they will be doing a salute, a salute to that fallen soldier. There were people looking who also payed their respect to that person lying in the coffin with the American flag neatly on top of it. The two of us brought our right hands to form a salute to a friend, a father, a husband, and a hero. _

_It was funeral day, I didn't think I could do it to be quite honest. I've been to many military funerals, but he was a brother to me. I have to use all my strength to get through this day for Freddie and his family. I was there in mine and Catherine's room preparing for the funeral. I had Catherine press and prepare my Dress Blues for today, I really couldn't do it last night after the day that we have gone through. After we got home, I just wanted to sleep, to sleep all that pain away. We got ready in a bliss, I was waiting for Catherine down in the foyer, no matter the situation, Catherine always looks beautiful in everything she wears, and this time, she's walking down the stairs in her uniform. She sent me a small smile just to reassure that everything will be alright. And I know it will be, but why did it take so long to bring a soldier's body back home? His family finally receives the closure they need, today. I bet telling them that their son is home really opened up scars, especially for Kelly and their daughter. Catherine and I took a silent way to the place where they would be holding the funeral. There was really nothing to say. I had nothing to say, Catherine knew how hard today was going to be for me, and I admire her for that. She knew Freddie as well back when we were stationed in San Diego/Coronado, to say the least her and Kelly got along pretty well. _

_Once we got to the place of gathering, there were many men and women in uniform, officers to enlisted, to family members who also served. I shook hands with our commanding officer at the time, Commander Joseph White, he was informed about the coming home and he fixed his schedule all around just to be here today. There standing almost time for formation was our SEAL team during those years. I bid my hellos to my fellow brothers, but also wishing they met again under different circumstances. We had ten minutes until the service began, I had five until I got into formation. There near the coffin already seated, were Freddie's parents and Kelly with their daughter. I shook hands with the Captain himself, Captain Derek Hart, he silenced a 'thank you for bringing my son home,' and I gave a hug to the mother herself, Janet Hart. They looked so happy, so finally settled with the fact that their son is home. And for it, I don't think they could be anymore happier. Time was up, and I got into formation with the many other sailors standing next to me at attention, there was Catherine behind me with a few other service members. Before the commander gave orders, I broke out and just took a look at her, and of course she smiled. The senior officer gave the order to about face and forward march to the coffin. There the SEAL team Freddie and I were in will be slapping the SEAL trident onto the coffin. The service began with a few words from the Navy Chaplain and the beginning formation of the Navy Honor Guards preparing for the gun salute._

_Then the senior guard called, "Ready. Aim. Fire." The first shot goes off, for me I find that sound comforting as it reminds us of our fallen comrades, and the ultimate sacrifice that they give, for that I will never forget. "Ready. Aim. Fire." The honor guards were folding the flag thirteen times in tradition and ready to hand it to the next-of-kin, in this case it was Kelly. _

"_On behalf of the President of the United States and the Chief of Naval Operations, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's service to this Country and a grateful Navy." The honor guard handed it off to Kelly and I walked out of formation to hand something special to the daughter of Freddie and Kelly. I kneeled in front of the small toddler and placed Freddie's dog tags around her neck, "I loved your daddy and I know he would have loved you very much. Now wherever you go, he'll always be with you." I kissed the girl on the cheek, I gave Kelly a hug, and hugged the parents as well. At this point, I was already crying, I wasn't showing it, but it was there. _

"_Before we begin the SEAL trident ceremony, Commander Steve McGarrett would like to say a few words." The Chaplain said and looked at me and I he lent me the spot._

_I began to speak, but I almost couldn't because the tears were threatening to fall, "Freddie was a friend, a brother, a good person to others. He was also a loving husband and was also ready to be a father.." I paused and took a look at the young child just a few feet away before continuing. _

"_But to all of us here, he was a hero. A hero who fought for what he believed in. A hero he fought for the cause that we have been upholding for three centuries. A hero who always believed that he will try his best to come home, and unfortunately the uncertainty came. He didn't come home with me that day, and everyday I have regretted it since. But I know for a fact that he would want me to move on and for all of you to believe that he died for a reason. And that reason was to fight with courage, to hold onto honor, and to have the commitment to giving in for the ultimate reason. He died with those reasons, just like all of the other fallen comrades." I paused again and looked the family and friends whose tears were also ready to fall, I also looked at my three friends at the edge of the audience who came to pay their respects, and at Catherine who nodded her head to tell me to keep going. I took a deep breath before going on._

"_For us Navy SEAL's we live by a code. A code that says everything about us and a code that represented our duty. And I quote, __**"I will never quit. My nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down i will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my enemies and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight." **__And that's exactly what Freddie carried out. He did exactly what many other heroes believed in. This is the cause that we, me, and those men fight for. Remember the philosophy of the U.S Navy SEALs. Freddie was a fighter, he was stubborn, but he was a fighter. He always carried a piece of paper with some words on it, and I have it with me right now. ____**  
**_

___**"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion. Respect others in their view. And demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend. Even a stranger when in a lonely place. **_

___**Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and nothing. For abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death. So that when their time comes. They weep and pray for a little more time. To live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home**____**."**_

_As you all know today also marks another year of 9/11._

_We are often traumatized by such chaos in the world, and it'll leave an impact on how we live in the future. A day of infamy, I was only still in BUD/s, what the hell should I know what was going on? But as you grow everyday, you know the importance and the significance, thus should you ever forget. Almost 3,000 people died that day, from plane victims, firefighters & police officers, to the ones running out of that burning building._

_Freddie and I, all of us, we were just getting ready for a tactical mission. Then out of the blue, our instructor informed us about what was going on that very moment - the 2nd plane had hit the other tower. That moment I will never ever forget. Shocked expressions was all you could see. The next hour, the pentagon was hit - we lost almost 60 men & women in uniform. And the next, what was to be a plane to target U.S capitol, a plane went down in a field killing ALL of the passengers and the hijackers._

_I could never forget how at that moment everything changed dramatically. Training was cancelled and the whole base was on lockdown. Quietness was all that you could hear, silence that was almost paining._

_Freddie said that very moment, "What's going to happen now, McG?" I couldn't answer that, none of us could answer it. We saw the news, live coverage of the whole event, we all couldn't erase the images we saw. Families crying because a final phone call or text was made, children crying because their parents were workers of law enforcement officials were killed in the line of duty, mom's and dad's lost son and daughters, children who no longer have a mother or a father, a day of infamy._

_What was to be and what was to do so? We are living in what we call a world today. A SEAL's brother - a Marine; an Airmen, a Soldier, we're all fighting on the frontline, trying to savour the dignity and the perserverance to carry onward and cross the finish line._

_To 9-11 thus should we ever forget, to that day almost 3,000 people died, and to the day another year passes and the anniversaries get more teary-eyed. It's a sad story, that many generations would look back to. It shaped us, it changed our ways, and it changed how our country reflected on us. Today, not only do we honor Freddie Hart, we also honor the fallen; our firefighters, the policemen, the civillians, and the military officials at the Pentagon. They were unaware of what was going to happen to us. All of it just passed by us in a blink of an eye. We lost 3,000 lives that day - 13 years ago, almost close to the attack on Pearl Harbor. We are America and we vow to keep our country safe by means. I believe in it and I hope you do as well._

___By the time I was done reading that poem by Tecumseh and September 11, 2001, I could feel the tears rushing down my face. Sometimes, it was just all too much. I continued and concluded with a few final words._

___"We read this together before a mission and before deployment, it was a tradition of ours eversince BUD/S. And for this we will all live on Freddie Hart's memory we will never forget the ultimate sacrifice he gave to us and to this country. We are all here today to celebrate Freddie's life, a life full of memories, a life full of happiness, a life that we were in together with him. For that, we will never forget him and we will just continue with him watching over us. Thank you, everyone." I stepped out of line, and started the slapping of SEAL trident followed by the rest of our team. I placed mine first and took a look at the coffen one last time. I reminded myself that I did all I could, I fought all I can, and I know his family will be forever grateful._

I was snapped out of that day when Catherine was nudging me and asking how come I've been staring at the wall across from me for almost twenty minutes.

"Hey, are you alright? You've been out of it for almost half an hour." Catherine asked, sitting next to me and just rubbing my shoulder for reassurance.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking back to Freddie's funeral, I can't believe that was a year ago, today. You know?" I asked. She sat on my lap, I wrapped my arms around her waist, and just looked at me and nodded giving me a peck on the cheek. I sometimes wonder what I would do without her, and this is one of those moments I'm just happy where everything is going.

"I know it's been tough on you, Steve. But remember what you said at the funeral, _soldier on_, and that's what we all need to do. He would want you to continue living, you know it and I know it."

"What would I do without you, Cath?" I asked looking deeply into her hazel eyes, capturing her essence and reeling her in.

"You would live on because that's who you are and what you believe in, Commander."

___Let the rain____  
____Wash away____  
____All the pain of yesterday____  
____I know my kingdom awaits____  
____And they've forgiven my mistakes____  
____I'm coming home_

___Tell the world that I'm coming home..._

___/_

___Dedicated to:_

___**Semper Fi (Always Faithful)**_

___**My cousin - Marines**_

___**MJ. James**_

___**A hero, a son, a brother, a husband, and a father**_

___**September 16, 1982 - July 1, 2014**_

___**Honor, Courage, Commitment**_

___**My brother – Navy**_

___**LT. Christian**_

___**A hero, my brother, a son, a man who always fought for what he believed in**_

___**May 21, 1981 – July 23, 2005**_

___**All the men and and women who continue fighting on the frontline to preserve what we believe in; the greater cause and we all must soldier on.**_

___**To the greatest generation and our fallen heroes. We live in their shoes and we will continue to fight for what we believe in. We still honor the fallen who gave their lives with the ultimate sacrifice.**_

___**Army**_

___**Navy**_

___**Air Force**_

___**Marines**_

___**Four different branches of the U.S Military, who do different things, but all believe in that one mission. **_

**_September 11, 2001_**

**_A day no American should ever forget. A day of infamy and terrible events, a day that we lost so many lives, a day that we should all remember. _**

___/_

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think._


End file.
